Family Dynamics in the Workplace with Dr. Dardashti

Family workplace dynamics: How having someone in the workplace to help us see things from another perspective can help us improve our work (Image Wix).

Understanding how family patterns impact the workplace, such as recurring conflicts or rare reactions related to our past, can truly improve our work. Dr. Niloo Dardashti of New York helps the working world in this regard and shares her insights on workplace family dynamics with us.

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Welcome to Perspective Living, Dr. Niloo Dardashti. Could you begin by telling us about the influence of family workplace dynamics?

Absolutely. Many of us are familiar with the concept of behavioural patterns and our family of origin, and how these subconscious patterns can influence our current family dynamics or our partner search. But what happens when we apply this awareness to the workplace? Many of us spend nearly half our lives with our 'second family,' which is our workplace family. If we put so much of our time into creating harmony at home, I believe we should apply the same approach in our work environment.

I collaborate with a wide range of clients, from executives to their employees, and communication with colleagues often encounters obstacles. There are issues with others, as well as challenges in discussing matters openly. People face uncertainty regarding others' perceptions of them and what is expected from them.

We constantly project onto others; it's just how we're wired. So, the real question isn't whether we do this at work as well, but rather, how do we do it? And: how can we use our awareness to make a shift?

"We constantly project onto others; it's just how we're wired. So, the real question isn't whether we do this at work as well, but rather, how do we do it?"

How does our 'work family' provoke reactions in us?

Alright, so you have your family of origin. For most of us, our family has played a significant role in shaping our perspective on others, ourselves, and the world. This influence shapes our perception of interactions and how we think others perceive us. Essentially, this viewpoint triggers our reactions, making us responsive. These processes occur constantly, both consciously and unconsciously.

In essence, this means that when individuals receive feedback about themselves in the workplace (such as being informed that their behaviour is disrespectful), certain processes will occur in the background. This is because they are very likely to interpret this feedback through their own personal worldview.

So, if we project onto those close to us in our personal lives because of our family of origin, it's unavoidable that we do the same with our "work family" in professional settings. However, this issue of workplace dynamics often go unnoticed.

Isn't this type of 'workplace dynamic' support already in place at work?

There are various types of workplace coaches and Industrial Organisational (IO) psychologists. Companies offer feedback sessions, leadership sessions, Employee Assistance Programs (EAP), and conduct annual reviews. However, there is not much emphasis on the relationship dynamics among employees in the workplace.

People go to therapy to explore issues in their daily life such as 'how do my thoughts influence my emotions and behaviours?'. But, don't similar issues occur in the workplace? They do, and they do often.

So, having someone at work who is skilled in understanding these workplace dynamics can be incredibly beneficial. This person can help us address deep-rooted issues related to our suboptimal engagement in our work life. They can mediate and resolve conflicts with colleagues and manage everyday matters and small details that may arise.

But, is it suitable to bring someone into the workplace to tackle these deep-rooted issues, in the middle of a workday? Well, if we did, it wouldn't have to be intense.

We wouldn't need to dwell on the past. Instead, with this person's assistance, we could enhance our engagement in work life.

"Having someone at work who is skilled in understanding these workplace dynamics can be incredibly beneficial. This person can help us address deep-rooted issues related to our suboptimal engagement in our work life."

Was there a particular inspiration behind this idea for you?

It started for me about 15 years ago, with a TV reality show titled The Restaurant. It featured a chef and an investor who struggled to communicate effectively, failing to truly understand one another.

Then one day, a family therapist was present in the restaurant. And while the chef and the investor were talking with her, an interesting development occurred. The therapist started mediating, assisting them in understanding the root causes of their issues. And guess what? She became crucial in helping them overcome these problems.

What if the therapist hadn't been present that day!? How much longer would the chef and the investor have been at odds? How much longer would they have viewed things solely from their own perspectives?

What is the chance they would have unravelled everything being discussed? That they would have begun to view these arguments more objectively and grounded in reality? And would they have questioned themselves: this is my expectation, but is it realistic, and how can I move forward instead?

Workplace dynamics affect everyone across all industries. It is my mission to help people feel more vibrant and engaged at work, moving away from operating on autopilot. I want to inspire excitement about their jobs. A significant way to achieve this is by having someone in the workplace who can enhance the cohesiveness and integrity of relationships of everyone in the workplace.

"What if the therapist hadn't been present that day!? How much longer would the chef and the investor have been at odds? How much longer would they have viewed things solely from their own perspectives?"

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On a Mission: Dr. Niloo Dardashti's Quest for Optimal 'Workplace Family Connectedness'

About our interviewee: Dr. Niloo Dardashti

Dr. Niloo Dardashti is a co-owner of the Manhattan Psychology Group PC. She is trained in traditional psychological therapies such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), mindfulness, and various Eastern methods, focussing on workplace conflict resolution, mediation, and anger and stress management. Her expertise is frequently sought by the media. Her mission is to assist companies, organisations, and professionals in enhancing productivity, efficiency, and job satisfaction by fostering optimal 'workplace family connectedness.' She is also dedicated to promoting greater empathy in the workplace.