The Meaning of Willpower: It Makes Life So Much Better. Right?
Updated: Aug 15
If only we had more self-control. We'd eat healthier, exercise regularly, avoid indulgences, eliminate procrastination, and increase savings. Achieving these goals sounds ideal. Right? Isn't it time to rethink our meaning of willpower?
When we talk about that extra glass of wine, piece of cake, or hour in bed in the morning, it often feels as though it were a confession. We might quickly label this clear lack of willpower and self-control a guilty pleasure, to help us feel better about it. Willpower, or rather our lack of it, has been getting a bad rep for a long time.
Marshmallows: Willpower is the Thing
Back in 1970, an experiment managed to secure our firm belief that willpower equals success in personal success. It was called the Marshmallow Experiment and for it, the researchers had tested children by offering them a sweet treat, and then checked how they were doing later in life. It turns out, those who had more self control and could hold off on eating the treat ended up being more successful adults, and this conclusion helped set the tone for our unwavering belief in willpower in society.
Liad Uziel from Bar Ilan University's psychology department in Israel mentioned in 'The Intricacies of the Pursuit of Higher Self-Control' that boosting self-control in kids and adults is often suggested as a fix for many of society's problems. Uziel also found that self-control is such a popular trait that it’s become widely recognised by everyone. "Increasing self-control among children and adults has been advocated as a remedy to many of society’s illnesses," he wrote in the paper.
"Increasing self-control among children and adults has been advocated as a remedy to many of society’s illnesses."
What’s So Good About Self Control Anyway
But, today, not everyone thinks the meaning of willpower is all that great. Uziel himself is one of the growing number of people who have a different take on it. In his research paper, he points out that willpower and self-control have downsides, which people often overlook. For instance, there's the issue of 'desiring' something but 'not possessing it.' Attempting to exert more self-control can, in fact, increase stress and diminish our motivation.
Willpower, Schmwillpower!
Another paper titled "What's So Great About Self-Control?" too offers a refreshing take. In it, the authors, Marina Milyavskaya from Carleton University and Michael Inzlicht from the University of Toronto, highlight how various tests have demonstrated that trying hard to resist or control temptations didn't help people reach their goals at all. In fac, one of the biggest myths about willpower, writes for instance ABC News, may be that we never have enough of it.
"The biggest myth about willpower, may be that we never have enough of it."
The More we Resist the More it Persists?
We can all relate to how willpower often backfires; the more we try to control a habit, the more we do it. This cycle, where resistance leads to persistence, is common in dieting. Experts suggest that willpower may be a "diet myth" sustaining the dieting industry.
The Meaning of Willpower: The Dark Side
There are also dark aspects linked to having increased willpower in specific situations and for certain peope. For example, as Uziel highlighted in his paper, it can make us selfish. That high levels of self-control can sometimes fire up something even darker in us was also shown by the Stanley Milgram Shock Experiment in the 1960s. In the test, participants were led to believe that an authority figure was asking them to inflict pain on someone else. To follow these instructions, they needed a lot of willpower, and surprisingly, they were quite willing to go pretty far! A similar connection between obedience and willpower was shown in a fake French TV game show called La Zone Xtrême in 2010. It seems that the more willpower we have to use, the meaner we can get.
"It seems like the more willpower we have to use, the meaner we can get."
Would You Like Some Nuance With That?
More and more people are catching on that willpower is more nuanced than we'd like to think. Sometimes, those around us easily avoid extra cookies simply because they don't enjoy them, so there's no need to feel inadequate in comparison. Maybe we picked up a dislike for exercise from our parents, so we can stop blaming ourselves.
Benjamin Hardy, the author of 'Willpower Doesn't Work: Discover the Hidden Keys to Success', recommends that we concentrate on altering our environment to more effectively support our objectives. In a world filled with temptations and quick solutions, it could well be very beneficial to minimise the chances of getting caught in these traps to begin with.
Afterthought
Willpower Meaning: Time to Discover Our Own Path?
Perhaps we can realise that many of our human struggles arise from misunderstanding our own ways of working, not a lack of willpower. Instead of forcing new habits, we can begin with small changes like avoiding buying tempting items, take a deep breath, or reading something to broaden our perspective. These small acts of self-compassion can transform our outlook. More people are finding effective ways to manage willpower, moving away from the all-or-nothing approach and discovering what works for them. It's time to abandon the elusive idea of willpower, much like the mythical pot of honey at the rainbow's end.
